Today and yesterday have been days of thought. I didn't really think of many really important things, but just of things in general. I thought of birthdays, and sleep-overs that we have all had together. I thought of life, and of growing up. Some things come when I don't want them to. Sometimes I will get nervous, and run away from it all....not in real life but inside. I'm not the best at excepting things. I mean, I'm OK at it, just not the best. I will hide things inside that I don't want to face, or that I don't want to trouble the people around me with. And when I think that I have completely forgotten and concealed the hurt, it will all come rushing back, in one rushing wave of sorrow and grief. It hurts sometimes to keep things inside. And sometimes, when I'm sure that no one is looking, maybe, I will let some of it out. I don't like for people to see my pain. But sometimes it is nice to have someone to cry to, a shoulder to cry on, a friend to confide in. But then sometimes, we are all too busy to have the time for a seemingly old gesture of sitting down, and asking your friend: How are you? Why has this become a past thing? Why is it that no one has or is willing to take the time to let a friend confide in them?
Sometimes, when all of my hurt is right there, waiting to burst forth in tears as it's only hope of relief, that is when I feel the closest to God. And surprisingly, that is when my inspiration to write, comes so naturally. It's like something in me has to escape, whether good or bad. But, whenever something that we have hidden comes out, it hurts, sometimes excruciatingly, it will dig at you, and try to make you give up, but if you stick to it, what bursts forth dose not have to be something bad, but rather, a work of art.
And then I wake up one morning, and see the sun shining through my window, and I say to myself, Today is a new day. :)
This post is about a past event.....I do not feel this way all the time, and I hope to never feel it again. (today is a great day!) :D